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1. A little boy was complaining to his friend, "My mom won't let me watch public

television anymore!""Why not" his friend ased incredulously."ecause it has too much sa# and violins!!"

$. %%An &nglish politician is sent to eing. (he )hinese politicians he is to meetthere offer him sightseeing of the city first. *e agrees, and when he leaves the hotela guide e#pects him outside. (he &nglishman wants to tal a bit with him, and as heis a politician he ass+"o you have elections"(he )hinese guide answers with a broad smile+"-h yes sil, evely molning."

. What /uantity is represented by this

0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0222222 0222222 0222222

33 33 3333 33 33

4, tree 5 tree 5 tree

A dust storm blows through, now how much do you have44, dirty tree 5 dirty tree 5 dirty tree

6ome birds go flying by and leave their droppings, one per tree, how many is that177, dirty tree and a turd 5 dirty tree and a turd 5 dirty tree and a turd

8. A one%eyed man is watching a movie at the cinema. At once, the man sitting ne#t tohim tells him+"9'm away for a moment. Would you please eep an eye on my seat"

(he one%eyed wonders+"And how can 9 watch the movie then"

:. A man calls at the central office of the local ;oo."9'd lie to tal to the most ferocious animal you have!"Answer+ "6orry, the lion is busy."

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(he rope eeps its nerve and tells him+"Well, 9'm a frayed not!" J9'm afraid notK

18. Math and Alcohol don't mi#, so...>&A6& -L'( D9L AL &D9B&

1:. Euy+ "*ow much do these diapers cost"

6aleswoman+ "(hey are N$.

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"MALO problems with this veRing machine, please report to Qohn 6ummers 71$1%:$:%8